Thursday, October 20, 2011
First off, I must start by saying that this should have been posted over a month ago. I've had this written since the middle of September, but who knew high school would be this crazy? High school! High school is the time to make something of ourselves. To redefine who we were in middle school. Whether we were the dorky kid with glasses or the school jock, we’re all jumping into high school without a life vest. Isn’t that why 9th grade is called “Freshman Year”? So we can become a “fresh” “man” (or wo"man”)? High school is the perfect opportunity to start over. Whether you’re going into a brand new school, whether you know everybody or not a soul, even if you’re with the same kids you’ve been with since 7th, and some 5th grade (like my school)...I wish I could say no one’s going to remember the time you walked into a door in 7th grade, or wore that hideous sweater to picture day in 6th. But what I can say is that it won’t matter; it won’t matter as long as you don’t let it get to you. Because those moments aren’t you, and as long as you don’t define yourself with them then nobody else can. We live in a society where we believe what we hear. If you stand confidently enough, people will believe who you say you are.
We all really are “wild magnolias” coming into high school. A lot of us (me at least) enter high school shielding our face with our petals, our only goal how to get from Point A to Point B without being noticed. But within that shy flower is prospect...opportunity...potential...to blossom. The possibilities are endless. As Natasha Bedingfield writes, “Drench yourself in words unspoken, live your life with arms wide open. Today is, where your book begins. The rest is still unwritten.” Like having a blank journal, like the one I just bought. 200 blank pages. 200 blank pages just waiting to be filled. In some ways I feel like it is all already written; I just need to scratch away at it, like a lottery ticket or one of those black pieces of paper that you scratch with Chinese sticks and underneath is a rainbow of colors; whatever you call it. But of course that is impossible, because not all of it has happened yet. Rather, none of it has happened yet because I still have to live it. It’s exciting, having 200 blank pages to fill. It’s like standing in a wide open field and just sprinting across, barefoot. The possibilities are endless, and I can’t help but wonder who will be the main characters in this book and who will be pushed to the side. Who will be the love interest or who will make in-and-out appearances and where the twists will occur.
The quote on the cover of my previous journal was by Thoreau: “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined.” Wouldn’t it be perfect for the cover of a journal that travels to Spain and Ireland and goes cross-country? But while I may not have been living it up in some foreign country with croissants and Piña Coladas, my very first entry was about my friend Ide. A poem written as if I were a bystander underneath the water, stuck in a glass case that I couldn’t break out of, as he drowned. That summer the phrase, “Live your life,” was the theme song of my days. After Ide died, I made it my tribute to him to make every second count. Whenever I hesitated, I just ran and plunged in harder, like a warrior on a battlefield. So, I “lived the life I imagined”.
My new journal sports the proverb, “Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly...” In other words, “when one door closes, another one opens.” So the next year or two years or 15 months or however long it takes me to complete my new journal, I will always look ahead. I will walk until the rainbow emerges.
And “Crazy Dreamer” is the title of my blog. In fact, everything I’ve mentioned is the reason why I’m writing this blog. Because I love to write, and I want to publish something someday. So I need to practice. Like running track or being in the drama program, I need to make a commitment to my writing if I want to make my dream come true. And sure, maybe that dream isn’t outrageous; I’m sure there are millions of people who dream of getting published. But I also have dreams of traveling; of going to Africa to teach, of studying abroad, of getting married and having kids and...my dreams are endless. But the point I want to make is that no dream is “crazy”. Or, scratch that, maybe it is crazy, but aren’t crazy ideas always the best ones?
High school is our time to shine. It is the scary reminder that time really does fly, because when you’re in middle school and you start thinking of what you want to be when you grow up, you have “Hey, I still have all of high school,” to lean on. But when you’re in high school, the next step is college. So now is probably a pretty good time to start thinking what you want to do with your life. And I’m not saying you have to be absolute; heck, some people don’t realize what they want in life until they’re 40. But it never hurts to get a head start.
So I promise you, my readers, that I will update this blog a minimum of once a week with tips I pick up, funny stories, or anything that inspires me. And I urge you to do the same! In fact, I beg you to do the same! Because this journey through high school is not something anyone should have to do alone. So come along, join me for this crazy roller coaster ride. Post anything that comes to mind! Because this is your blog as much as mine. Make the most of it! All I ask is that you promise to never let go of your crazy dreams.