But as my post last week explained, last weekend we gave it our all as we performed the songs and dance numbers and lines we had practiced for the last time. For me, this was the last time I would be standing on a stage until next fall, because track started Monday and that has always taken priority in the spring. But being at track just didn't feel right Monday. I was still on the thrill of the performance and to go from such a high-energy and fun environment to a track, which can be filled with intensity and the pressure to go fast, can be quite a downfall. I just couldn't get into my rhythm; I kept missing the play, missing the people. Missing the spontaneous singing of the cast and corny theatre jokes and stage makeup and the ability to go somewhere and be someone I'm not. On the track, I'm known for being fast, so whenever I step on the track I feel this obligation to live up to that. Hence, my love/hate relationship with it.
I'm the type of person who puts a lot of pressure on myself. It's hard for me to do something less than 100%, and often times I get burnt out. Does anyone ever feel that? Get burnt out even doing something they love? This season, I need to find my pace. A pace where I can have fun, be fit, and if fast happens to come, then so be it. But I need to get rid of any pre-conceived visions of me with running; of how other people identify me with running. It's not worth it if I go to practice every day dreading it. No one should put that much time and effort into something they don't love. Life's too short.
This week, with the rapid change in pace, I've been trying to take it easy. Drink lots of tea, sleep, read, and catch up on the things that I love (like writing :) ). Next week hopefully I'll get back into a rhythm and get into my zone, find my lane. Whatever it is you do, I hope you love it. Of course there will be days when you don't, but if the bad days start to outnumber the good, you might want to rethink if it's really the best use of your time. Or change your approach. You may just be putting too much pressure on yourself, and sometimes a change of perspective or taking a break can make a huge difference. As they say, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." Most likely, if you take a step back and don't think so much, success or happiness or speed or whatever it may be will come without you even consciously trying! And hopefully, you'll be happier.
P.S. "Did you notice?" is updated. As always, thanks to all those who participate! It's so fun reading what you find!